


Because

by LandofWordsandNonsense (RiaHawk)



Series: Details [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beau asks questions he doesn't know how to answer, Caleb cares more about the group than he'll admit, Gen, Introspection, Mentions of the rest of the Nein, caleb is Not Okay, caleb's backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 11:07:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16016639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiaHawk/pseuds/LandofWordsandNonsense
Summary: "Why didn't you say anything? ...When we were talking to Trent. You know we were talking to Trent."





	Because

_ "Why didn't you say anything? ...When we were talking to Trent. You know we were talking to Trent." _

 

Because.

 

There are so many reasons he'd held his tongue, so many excuses he could give. And he was only willing to admit half of them even to himself. The other reasons, the ones he wouldn't admit, scared him because he was not supposed to  _ care _ . It was  _ safer _ if he didn't care, he only cared about Nott, and _that_ was almost too much for him. So he told himself he didn't care, and buried those other reasons deep where he couldn't see them.

 

_ 'Because if I had tried there and then, when you were already talking to him, he would have recognized me.' _

 

(Because you were already talking to him and to suddenly put you on your guard would have only served to make him increase his attentions.)

 

_ 'Because it would take a single motion of his finger to clap me in chains and have me killed, or worse.' _

 

(Because it could not have helped but start a fight we could not win and then he would have all of us.)

 

_ 'Because he might have already recognized me from the way I cast.' _

 

(Because he'd been watching the Victory Pit and we might all have drawn his notice, at least Yasha and Fjord and Mollymauk, and we cannot afford to have him notice them more.)

 

_ 'Because I am still afraid of the man who turned me into a monster.' _

 

(Because I was not sure I could approach him even to talk to you without trying to kill him because the way he looks at Yasha terrifies me and I will not let him do to her what he did to me.)

 

_ 'Because I only want to be as far away from him as I can until I regain the magical strength I once had and repair my mistake.' _

 

(Because we had already agreed to leave and all we can do now is keep our heads low until he forgets the things that interested him tonight.)

 

_ 'Because there was no way to warn you off without telling you the whole story and I did not wish to.' _

 

(Because if you had known what he was you would have tried to punch him and I did not wish you to die.)

 

_ 'Because I am a coward.' _

 

(Because I was afraid you would not believe me, and that would make you easier prey for him.)

 

And in the end, he hadn't answered the question at all, just continued with the story in the hopes that by the time he was done, she would understand.

 

Because.


End file.
